Why the self and ego is made up. Blog on ego part 2

Hey team,

Today I will be building upon one of my previous blogs on ego and the mind. After reading "Understanding our Mind," watching various videos on eastern schools of psychological thought, and taking time to reflect on life, I have arrived at some profound realizations about the nature of self and ego. When asked "who are you," our usual responses often involve identity markers such as "I am a man," "I am a student," or "I am a son." While these labels are not incorrect as points of reference, they fail to fully encapsulate the essence of the self. Let me expand.

Would I cease to exist if I were not a man? Certainly not. Gender identity is important, but it is just one facet of who I am. If I were no longer a student, would I cease to be me? Absolutely not. My identity extends beyond educational roles. Let's consider two students; although they may share similar academic pursuits, they remain distinct individuals. Thus, identity markers provide some insight into the person they represent, but no single label fully defines a person.

The aspect of us that attaches to various identity markers is our ego. Our ego categorizes attributes to construct an identity. However, these attributes are seldom permanent. I may identify as a barista, which is true, but this label is merely a current (impermanent) role I fill. I wasn't born a barista, and one day, I will no longer hold this role. This logic applies to all forms of identity. You are born as you, your identity evolves, yet you remain yourself, regardless of any identity markers.

Let's delve deeper into these identity markers and understand why, although based on ignorance and illusion, they aren't inherently negative. As a pharmacy student passionate about being a holistic and informed provider, my commitment to studies is backed by personal effort. But to claim that these aspects wholly define me is false. They exist today due to every moment preceding this one. Every teacher's guidance, every piece of knowledge I've gained, every meal consumed, each friend and foe who shaped my personality, even the genes inherited from my parents—these collectively shape my present self. I stand here today as a composite of these experiences. While an individual aspect remains—the observer and decision-maker—it exists in relation to the external world.

Like many, I have thoughts of superiority or inferiority compared to others. The phrases "I am accomplished" or "I am inadequate" arise. However, the pivotal word is "I." This "I" is shaped by subjective upbringing and inherited genes. To attribute the entirety of our being solely to the self is delusion. This extends to those who perceive themselves as solely responsible for success or failure. Aren't we all influenced by our genes and experiences? Where does the self fit in? For how can I be a success or a failure if the I is a product of the subjective and collective experience? 

Long entrenched in objective notions of right and wrong, I've realized that universal moral codes are not inherent. While they can be learned, the ideas of good and bad remain subjective until acquired. An action is right or wrong based on the individual's knowledge and intent. Even if an action is intentionally unkind, it originates from personal hurt rooted in subjective experiences. Each action is subjective, arising from a unique mind shaped by external influences. An objective experience is not possible as we are all subjects with subjective perceptions and reactions. 

To disregard the factors that shape an individual and perceive oneself as wholly independent is delusional. The notion of a self or ego believing in this independence is manufactured. As of today, August 19, 2023, I acknowledge uncertainty about what a self truly is. What constitutes me? An observer of phenomena, a decision-maker, perhaps a feeler. But the distinction between whether I feel or merely observe feelings remains unclear. This list will likely grow and change, but for now, this is my understanding.